Diary Of A Father : My Son My God

183) Monday 1^st June : Today start of new month, Manas felt a bit better but still not fully enthusiastic. We did little stretches. He was not his active self, kept bit busy with xbox and then evening slept off. Fod which he normally relishes he was not so particular. Dexa is a strong steroid hence body and mind weakens. Overall the day just went by.

184) Tuesday 2^nd June : Manas woke up fine and was feeling better during the day. Evening we did the stretches and he was happy and slowly the dexa effect wearing down. Later in evening he started complaining of stomach pain and cramps, we asked Dr Shobha and she asked to give Pan and increase Mucaine Gel. At 10 pm his pain increased and we asked her and she asked us to give Metrogyl tablet. Sagar went to Appolo hospital and got the tablet. Manas had that and got some relief and later went to sleep. Had little curd rice.

185) Wednesday 3^rd June : Manas had a disturbed sleep and his pain was still there. Gave him Pan and also some hot ‘ajwain’ water, he felt little better and went back to sleep. He woke late around 11 am but still had the cramps. He did not feel like having lunch just had 3 spoons of curd rice and then gave him his medicines. He went back to sleep but his pains were intermittently there. Gave bath to him but he was tired and crying in pain and not letting me check his tummy. Dr Shobha called and asked us to bring him to hospital as she wanted to check and not take chances. We went to hospital around 5 pm and the duty Dr Mohan was there who knows his case well. He checked him and they gave antibiotic injection and also wanted to do a blood test before concluding. His blood tests came normal except drop in WBC which was expected. He said it is a normal acidity and changed his medicine. Also his afternoon Dex dose was stooped and said they will taper it down. Manas also felt much better and then we came home by 8 pm. Dr Shobha called and asked us to give a gcsf injection. Luckily Sagar could go to Fortis hospital and get one and gave the injection to Manas. Manas also felt better and ate 2 chappati and his favorite baingan bhartha. He still had slight pain but told him that his tests are normal and this will get over soon. He went to sleep early.

186) Thursday 4^th June : Manas woke up late but still had the cramps, gave him the medicines. He had some pasta for breakfast and then was tired and wanted to sleep. After sometime he woke up and said the pain is still there. The dexa of noon was stopped so said we will have to wait for it to show results. He was not hungry at all and skipped lunch. Around 2 pm he started crying saying pain not bearable. We called Dr Shobha who asked us to bring to hospital and get him admitted as they would like to do ultrasound. We rushed to hospital, she was there and saw him. Fluids was given and blood taken for all the tests. We got him admitted. His pain had subsidized little only and he did not eat anything. He was asked not to eat anything solid. Later in night his blood reports came and it was clear. The ultrasound scan was done and that also showed cleared except for some gas formation. Manas went to sleep. He did not pass motion as had not eaten anything.

187) Friday 5^th June : Manas was tired and stomach pain had reduced considerably. I went home and got clothes and laptop. Dr Shobha came and said Dexa induces all these and only 2 doseages left. A GCSF injection was also given. She said he will be fully alright. His muscle has again become weak and asked him to walk. Manas was feeling low and said he couldn’t move his leg much, told him that his mind is making him anxious and nervous and he will be alight. Took him to loo but still he couldn’t pass motion. Gave him bath. Later he walked some few small rounds within the room itself. He did not have dinner and night again said leg not having strength and was wondering if he can speak. Spoke to him and said his mind is making him think like that due to steroids. Gave him some stretches. Kirubanidhi the physio also came and said that we need to some more strengthening. Gave electrol and coconut water and then Manas went to sleep.

188) Saturday 6^th June : Today is the 1^st death anniversary of ‘Manni’ my role model and dear mother. Manas woke up fresh, Dr Sunil and team came and saw him and said he is doing fine. The muscle go weak but that is temporary and asked him to do walking. His fluids were also stopped and asked for semi sold diet like khichdi be taken. Manas was able to pass motion today morning. Gave him bath and also made him walk the ward 2 rounds. He said he will prepare a time table and we set a target of running 10 km on 30^th Nov, that will be 1 year since his operation. Dr Shobha came and saw him and said he can have semi-solid food. He had ragi kanjee for breakfast. She said they will do a CBC and then discharge on Monday. His chemo may happen on Wednesday or Thursday. Evening we did stretches and some exercises. Manas had dal rice and then went to sleep.

189) Sunday 7^th June : Manas woke up late, he was feeling much better. Had semi solid breakfast of idly sambar. Dr Sharad Damodaran came and said his counts were low at .5 hence GCSF will be given and he will be discharged in a day or 2. Manas was feeling much better though his legs are still weak. Evening did walk within the room. He had soup and later dal rice. Went to sleep.

190) Monday 8^th June : Manas woke up early, Dr Sunil came and said counts bit low but will speak to Dr Shobha and may discharge. Later nurse came and said discharge planned and the chemo to be done on Thursday. He was asked to take gcsf injection. The Physio came and gave very good stretches and Manas felt better. His legs have become weak and could walk with help, will need some time to gain strength. I paid the bill as the insurance would take time and manas was getting impatient. Reached home by 8 pm. Shalini made khichidi for dinner.

191) Tuesday 9^th June : Manas was much better but leg still weak. Gave him Pan and other medicines. He could walk with help. Had rasam for lunch which he was missing. Kirubanidhi started coming from today and Manas could get some good stretches and physio, though it was painful Manas felt good. Later he did 2000 pedals as well. He had dinner. Complained of burning sensation when passing motion checked his rectum and there seems to be some kind of boil or growth. Manas had medicines and went to sleep.

192) Wednesday 10^th June : Manas had pain in his anus and applied betadine cream. He had bath and gave his sitz bath. He had normal lunch but at noon his pain again increased. Took a photo and sent to Dr Shobha, she asked to apply the cream. Manas pain increased and he started crying and wanted to go to hospital which is unlike him as the pain was unbearable. Called the hospital and Dr Salman was there he asked to give Microgel and if pain persists asked to bring him to hospital. We rushed to hospital and they examined and applied a gel and gave antibiotic injection. Later in night the surgeon came and he examined and said looks like Fissure and it would have been caused earlier due to constipation or hard stool. Nor us or Manas recollected any such instance though I remember that his motion had delayed. They asked for gel to be applied and also give sitz bath be given where he sits in warm water instead of splashing the way I used to do. Manas had some relief. He had dinner and then went to sleep.

193) Thursday 11^th June : Manas felt better and the surgeons came and examined. They suspect he would have had constipation in past and hard stool that would have led to so small wound which has now led to fissures. No need of any surgery but apply cream and do the sitz bath 3 times a day and it should heal on its own. Manas was given sitz bath and he could get relief. Dr Shobha was on leave but Dr Sunil and team came and examined. His counts are low as the wbc is fighting his infection. Manas felt better during the day and the creams and sitz bath helping. He was given pain killer injections and antibiotics. Asked to take Duphalac and avoid constipation.

194) Friday 12^th June : Manas was feeling much better and pain reduced to large extent. The swelling had reduced little but the inflammation reduced considerably. Dr Shobha came and checked and said it is last leg and need not worry. They may give vincristine and discharge him tomorrow. Manas did thrice sitz bath and also could walk around with help. He has now come back to his cheerful self but once a while goes silent. He had proper meal and passed motion twice due to Duphalac but was much better.

195) Saturday 13^th June : Manas was back to normal self. Dr Shobha came and saw him and said will give partial chemo as his counts are still only at 1 and will discharge. His fissure had also reduced and pain was less. His pain killers were stopped. Vincristine chemo was give and by noon he was discharged. We came home by 5 pm. Evening gave him sitz bath and he had his favourite tomato rice. Went to sleep early as the physio said he will come by 11 am the next day.

196) Sunday 14^th June : Manas woke early than routine, he had to rush to toilet as little more Duphalac was given. He was not comfortable with the pan and had to get a new steel tub for him to sit. He had lunch and Shalini tried litti-chokha dish which came out well. Later in day Sagar went and got the tub. Evening the Physio came and gave very good stretches. Did 4 times sitz bath. Gave him GCSF injection in morning as this has to be given for 3 days to increase his WBC counts.

197) Monday 15^th June : Manas woke up early as the Physio was to come by 11 am. His pain had reduced and the fissure also has contracted. The Physio made him do some really tough stretches as his leg strength has to be built. The sitz bath was given 4 times a day and that gave relief to him. Gave him the gcsf injection. Night his favourite baingan bhartha was made.He was tired after the stretches and went to sleep early.

198) Tuesday 16^th June : Manas woke up early and got ready as well early. The Physio gave some real good stretches, while they were painful Manas is now able to regain some of his strength. Gave the last does of GCSF injection, his hands looked fine so his counts should have increased. His pain also has reduced and the 4 times a day sitz bath is helping. The last 7 months of his treatment some part or other of his body has undergone some suffering but he has borne it well. He had his favorite masala dosa for lunch. He did cycling as well. Being a foodie wanted to try new dish and Shalini made Gatthe ki subzi. He now has started helping with peeling vegetables and doing some side chores, to bring some variety to the monotony. Had a decent day and tomorrow is his follow up and hopefully the chemo should be done.

199) Wednesday 17^th June : Manas woke up early and got ready as well early. Had his medicines and left for hospital. We got his CBC Stat done. Dr Shobha checked his fissures and was happy it is healing. Manas counts were low it was .8 hence chemo postponed. Manas was bit low as he was confident it will be fine but his wbc must be fighting the infection. We came back home and also called the Physio to do the stretches. Day went as usual and he was asked to take 3 days GCSF and come on Saturday.

200) Thursday 18^th June: Today is 200^th day, Manas woke as usual and had a normal routine day. His soya nuggets pulav was prepared and dosa for dinner. He had his gcsf. Later in night he had sweating and his temperate was hovering between 98.5 and 99. Spoke to Dr and she asked to give medicine and check after an hour. Manas himself did not feel any fever but temperature was 99. He slept early

201) Friday 19^th June: Manas had normal temperature but later had again increase. No headache or temperature. Dr Shoba said it is expected and could be due to Vitamin D deficiency as he has been at home only. Had gcsf injection and his normal stretches. Now his shoulder exercises are given. Another routine day

202) Saturday 20^th June: Manas woke early and we left for hospital. Mama & Mami came home. Manas counts were good and his chemo was given. His Vitamin D and calcium was low hence Shelcal and arise medicine prescribed. This is a short chemo that got done in 1 hour and we were back by 3 pm. Had lunch at home. Manas had some nauseauting which was expected. He had his stretches. Later in day was tired and went to sleep early.

203) Sunday 21^st June : Manas woke up early as today is Solar eclipse hence had breakfast by 10 am. Manas had bisse belle bath for lunch. Evening did his stretches. Made corn-paneer cutlet for him. A normal day.

204) Monday 22^nd June: Manas woke early and was ready. The physio came by 11.30 and he had good stretches. No major mdeicines except forcan and shelcal. A normal day

205) Tuesday 23^rd June: Manas had a normal day, his fissures have reduced substantially and no more pain. He could now walk with very little assistance thanks to the physio exercises.

206) Wednesday 24^th June: Manas got up early had his stretches. Today his gcsf injections was give, have to give for 3 days so that counts are fine. He slept in noon as wanted to see ManU match in night. Had dinner of kurma which Shalini had prepared. Saw the match and went to sleep late.

207) Thursday 25^th June : Morning Manas woke late as his stretches was planned in evening. Gave his GCSF injections and medicines. Evening manas did his stretches and later went to sleep. At around 7.30 pm his body was feeling warm and on checking tempreture it was 99. Shalini checked his BP and it was low at 90. Dr Shobha asked him to be brought to hospital. I spoke to her and she said the drug Doxorubocin can cause BP low and affect heart so she wants to do a echo and a doctor to see him. Manas started crying as he now hates going to hospital but we somehow convinced him. We left at 9.15 and reached by 10 pm. The Dr on duty examined him and felt his BP was fine, seems our machine shows incorrect. They could not do Echo as Covid clearance is required and at this odd hour not possible. So they asked me to get the medicines and gave him antibiotic. His vein was not found and later they used the port, this was a bit painful. Took blood for CBC, Renal, Liver and infection test. Couldn’t see him crying as he said he had enough and does not want to go through this. All got done by 2.30 am and we came home by 3.30. It had rained heavily and roads were flooded and so was Ranka Colony, luckily had taken Innova so could come in. Took him in wheelchair. Later he went to sleep by 4 am.

208) Friday 26^th June : Manas still had fever. Dr Shobha said his reports are fine and only hameglobin is low, they will give a blood transfusion like in Phase 2. Asked to give Dolo if it goes beyond 100 and also give Taxim O tablet. Gave Dolo to him and he felt better though it was weak. Had light lunch of rasam rice and again went to sleep. Evening he was much better and BP still showed 106 range but seems our machine is incorrect. Dr Shobha asked to come on Monday and give GCSF tomorrow as well. Gave him GCSF today. Later at night he had little vomiting but was later fine. Gave him Dolo and then he went to sleep. Dr Shobha said if the fever continues till Sunday she may admit him. Praying that the last leg of 3 weeks goes smoothly.

209) Saturday 27^th June : Manas woke up late, he still had mild temperature 99 degree and gave him Dolo. Gave gcsf injection as well. The temperature was there couple of times hence had to give dolo thrice, this has been reduced from 4 times. He felt nauseauting and threw up twice. While his other reports came normal his hameglobin is low. Most of the day he took rest. Evening he watched his favourite Barcelona match and went to sleep around 11 pm. Gave him the weekly Vitamin-D tablet.

210) Sunday 28^th June : Manas was much better did not give him Dolo, the Taxim O table helped in control. The BP still kept showing low so we asked Swati who is in her last year of MBBS to come and test the BP using manual BP machine. That showed normal and hence our machine seems to show a 10 count variation. Manas was feeling low as now he is tired of the hospital visits and was hoping that his chemo gets done. Dr Shobha said we will need to get a Covid test done and Echo as well. Skipped Physio as did not want to strain him. Slept early as next day is a long day.

211) Monday 29^th June: Manas woke early and got ready and we left by 9.30 am for hospital. There was traffic on road and we reached only by 10.30. Dr Shobha asked us to get the CBC, Cvoid test and Echo done and come to her. The Covid was the faster variant which you get report in 4 hours time. We got his CBC test done and later the Echo was done and then went for Covid test which was on another building. The Covid test took over 2 hours as it was a longer queue and bit disorganized. They said the report takes 8 hours hence spoke to Dr Shobha who said we can go home and come next day. Meanwhile we went and collected the CBC and Echo report. CBC was fine but the Echo showed some variations. Dr Shobha had told us that the drug Doxyrobocin is known to cause some heart side effects. We came home and Dr Shobha called and asked us to meet the Cardialogist next day and also get a blood test done. This was worrying and Manas lost his patience and started crying and feeling low. We tried to explain to him but he is the poor guy who is going through all this. The hospital visits, tests and pricks is taking a toll. Shalini also got worried but later she spoke to Dr Kannan, Dr Senthil and Dr Ramesh all our family friends who said this is expected not to worry. We explained to Manas. To cheer him up we made Maggie noodles which he has been craving for few months now. Manas was happy and later went to sleep as we had to repeat the process the next day as well. Told him Dalai Lama and why somethings are difficult in life.

212) Tuesday 30^th June: Morning Manas woke up and was feeling low. In the toilet he started crying and said he is now fed up. It was very painful and unbearable to see him break down. I also couldn’t control myself as have been keeping a stoic face for sometime. Seeing me cry he calmed down and said he will be brave. Later we had breakfast and again he was emotional and we all consoled him that things will be fine, have faith in god and doctors. We reached by 10.15 am, the Covid report was not ready. Dr Shobha asked us to meet Dr Shashiraj who is a paedetric cardiac specialist. We met him and he checked Manas and said looks fine but need a Pro BNP blood test to be done and come back with report. We did the blood test, which is another prick for Manas. We went to meet Dr Shobha who counselled Manas that he is doing exceptionally well. Many kids have high sugare, fits and other side effects that leads to a week of hospitalization and that too after the first dose whereas Manas has withstood 3 dosages which is remarkable. She said she may not do the last dose and hence said will give only Vincristine and will do a blood transfusion as well as his hameglobin is low and in past we had rushed for this. While Manas and Shalin went for the test I went and collected the blood report and showed to the cardiologist. He said report is fine and gave a medicine that needs to be taken for a month and we come back again. He said this is expected and in couple of months they will stop this medicine. This was a big relief. Went and collected the Covid report which came negative as expected. Manas was very happy with this and the talk from Dr Shobha also helped him. Later his Vincristine chemo was given along with blood transfusion and we came home by 8.30 pm. Another long day but very fruitful as his chemo was done and we move to next step. Dr Shobha asked us to come on 14^th which is after 2 weeks and also get the PET Scan done. Now there are few milder chemo to be given and she increased the Cytrabin injections. Overall a good day.

Diary Of A Father : My Son My God

Saturday, June 27, 2020

Weekly Musings : Week 30 Change of Weather

Weekly Musings : Week 29 Double Century

Sunday, June 14, 2020

Weekly Musings : Week 28 It is not about endurance

Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Weekly Musings : Week 27 One more hospital admission

Wednesday, June 3, 2020

Daily Diary for month of June

Monday, June 1, 2020

Weekly Musings : Week 26 This Day 6 months Ago?

Sunday, May 24, 2020

Weekly Musings : Week 25 How would Normal Day look like ?