Daily Diary for month of June

183) Monday 1^st June : Today start of new month, Manas felt a bit better but still not fully enthusiastic. We did little stretches. He was not his active self, kept bit busy with xbox and then evening slept off. Fod which he normally relishes he was not so particular. Dexa is a strong steroid hence body and mind weakens. Overall the day just went by.

184) Tuesday 2^nd June : Manas woke up fine and was feeling better during the day. Evening we did the stretches and he was happy and slowly the dexa effect wearing down. Later in evening he started complaining of stomach pain and cramps, we asked Dr Shobha and she asked to give Pan and increase Mucaine Gel. At 10 pm his pain increased and we asked her and she asked us to give Metrogyl tablet. Sagar went to Appolo hospital and got the tablet. Manas had that and got some relief and later went to sleep. Had little curd rice.

185) Wednesday 3^rd June : Manas had a disturbed sleep and his pain was still there. Gave him Pan and also some hot ‘ajwain’ water, he felt little better and went back to sleep. He woke late around 11 am but still had the cramps. He did not feel like having lunch just had 3 spoons of curd rice and then gave him his medicines. He went back to sleep but his pains were intermittently there. Gave bath to him but he was tired and crying in pain and not letting me check his tummy. Dr Shobha called and asked us to bring him to hospital as she wanted to check and not take chances. We went to hospital around 5 pm and the duty Dr Mohan was there who knows his case well. He checked him and they gave antibiotic injection and also wanted to do a blood test before concluding. His blood tests came normal except drop in WBC which was expected. He said it is a normal acidity and changed his medicine. Also his afternoon Dex dose was stooped and said they will taper it down. Manas also felt much better and then we came home by 8 pm. Dr Shobha called and asked us to give a gcsf injection. Luckily Sagar could go to Fortis hospital and get one and gave the injection to Manas. Manas also felt better and ate 2 chappati and his favorite baingan bhartha. He still had slight pain but told him that his tests are normal and this will get over soon. He went to sleep early.

186) Thursday 4^th June : Manas woke up late but still had the cramps, gave him the medicines. He had some pasta for breakfast and then was tired and wanted to sleep. After sometime he woke up and said the pain is still there. The dexa of noon was stopped so said we will have to wait for it to show results. He was not hungry at all and skipped lunch. Around 2 pm he started crying  saying pain not bearable. We called Dr Shobha who asked us to bring to hospital and get him admitted as they would like to do ultrasound. We rushed to hospital, she was there and saw him. Fluids was given and blood taken for all the tests. We got him admitted. His pain had subsidized little only and he did not eat anything. He was asked not to eat anything solid. Later in night his blood reports came and it was clear. The ultrasound scan was done and that also showed cleared except for some gas formation. Manas went to sleep. He did not pass motion as had not eaten anything.

187) Friday 5^th June : Manas was tired and stomach pain had reduced considerably. I went home and got clothes and laptop. Dr Shobha came and said Dexa induces all these and only 2 doseages left. A GCSF injection was also given. She said he will be fully alright. His muscle has again become weak and asked him to walk. Manas was feeling low and said he couldn’t move his leg much, told him that his mind is making him anxious and nervous and he will be alight. Took him to loo but still he couldn’t pass motion. Gave him bath. Later he walked some few small rounds within the room itself. He did not have dinner and night again said leg not having strength and was wondering if he can speak. Spoke to him and said his mind is making him think like that due to steroids. Gave him some stretches. Kirubanidhi the physio also came and said that we need to some more strengthening. Gave electrol and coconut water and then Manas went to sleep.

188) Saturday 6^th June : Today is the 1^st death anniversary of ‘Manni’ my role model and dear mother. Manas woke up fresh, Dr Sunil and team came and saw him and said he is doing fine. The muscle go weak but that is temporary and asked him to do walking. His fluids were also stopped and asked for semi sold diet like khichdi be taken. Manas was able to pass motion today morning. Gave him bath and also made him walk the ward 2 rounds. He said he will prepare a time table and we set a target of running 10 km on 30^th Nov, that will

188) Saturday 6^th June : Today is the 1^st death anniversary of ‘Manni’ my role model and dear mother. Manas woke up fresh, Dr Sunil and team came and saw him and said he is doing fine. The muscle go weak but that is temporary and asked him to do walking. His fluids were also stopped and asked for semi sold diet like khichdi be taken. Manas was able to pass motion today morning. Gave him bath and also made him walk the ward 2 rounds. He said he will prepare a time table and we set a target of running 10 km on 30^th Nov, that will be 1 year since his operation.  Dr Shobha came and saw him and said he can have semi-solid food. He had ragi kanjee for breakfast. She said they will do a CBC and then discharge on Monday. His chemo may happen on Wednesday or Thursday. Evening we did stretches and some exercises. Manas had dal rice and then went to sleep.

189) Sunday 7^th June : Manas woke up late, he was feeling much better. Had semi solid breakfast of idly sambar. Dr Sharad Damodaran came and said his counts were low at .5 hence GCSF will be given and he will be discharged in a day or 2. Manas was feeling much better though his legs are still weak. Evening did walk within the room. He had soup and later dal rice. Went to sleep.

190) Monday 8^th June : Manas woke up early, Dr Sunil came and said counts bit low but will speak to Dr Shobha and may discharge. Later nurse came and said discharge planned and the chemo to be done on Thursday. He was asked to take gcsf injection. The Physio came and gave very good stretches and Manas felt better. His legs have become weak and could walk with help, will need some time to gain strength. I paid the bill as the insurance would take time and manas was getting impatient. Reached home by 8 pm. Shalini made khichidi for dinner.

191) Tuesday 9^th June : Manas was much better but leg still weak. Gave him Pan and other medicines. He could walk with help. Had rasam for lunch which he was missing. Kirubanidhi started coming from today and Manas could get some good stretches and physio, though it was painful Manas felt good. Later he did 2000 pedals as well. He had dinner. Complained of burning sensation when passing motion checked his rectum and there seems to be some kind of boil or growth.  Manas had medicines and went to sleep.

192) Wednesday 10^th June : Manas had pain in his anus and applied betadine cream. He had bath and gave his sitz bath. He had normal lunch but at noon his pain again increased. Took a photo and sent to Dr Shobha, she asked to apply the cream. Manas pain increased and he started crying and wanted to go to hospital which is unlike him as the pain was unbearable. Called the hospital and Dr Salman was there he asked to give Microgel and if pain persists asked to bring him to hospital. We rushed to hospital and they examined and applied a gel and gave antibiotic injection. Later in night the surgeon came and he examined and said looks like Fissure and it would have been caused earlier due to constipation or hard stool. Nor us or Manas recollected any such instance though I remember that his motion had delayed. They asked for gel to be applied and also give sitz bath be given where he sits in warm water instead of splashing the way I used to do. Manas had some relief. He had dinner and then went to sleep.  

193) Thursday 11^th June : Manas felt better and the surgeons came and examined. They suspect he would have had constipation in past and hard stool that would have led to so small wound which has now led to fissures. No need of any surgery but apply cream and do the sitz bath 3 times a day and it should heal on its own. Manas was given sitz bath and he could get relief. Dr Shobha was on leave but Dr Sunil and team came and examined. His counts are low as the wbc is fighting his infection. Manas felt better during the day and the creams and sitz bath helping. He was given pain killer injections and antibiotics. Asked to take Duphalac and avoid constipation.

194) Friday 12^th June : Manas was feeling much better and pain reduced to large extent. The swelling had reduced little but the inflammation reduced considerably. Dr Shobha came and checked and said it is last leg and need not worry. They may give vincristine and discharge him tomorrow. Manas did thrice sitz bath and also could walk around with help. He has now come back to his cheerful self but once a while goes silent. He had proper meal and passed motion twice due to Duphalac but was much better.

195) Saturday 13^th June : Manas was back to normal self. Dr Shobha came and saw him and said will give partial chemo as his counts are still only at 1 and will discharge. His fissure had also reduced and pain was less. His pain killers were stopped. Vincristine chemo was give and by noon he was discharged. We came home by 5 pm. Evening gave him sitz bath and he had his favourite tomato rice. Went to sleep early as the physio said he will come by 11 am the next day.

196) Sunday 14^th June : Manas woke early than routine, he had to rush to toilet as little more Duphalac was given. He was not comfortable with the pan and had to get a new steel tub for him to sit. He had lunch and Shalini tried litti-chokha dish which came out well. Later in day Sagar went and got the tub. Evening the Physio came and gave very good stretches. Did 4 times sitz bath. Gave him GCSF injection in morning as this has to be given for 3 days to increase his WBC counts.

197) Monday 15^th June :  Manas woke up early as the Physio was to come by 11 am. His pain had reduced and the fissure also has contracted. The Physio made him do some really tough stretches as his leg strength has to be built. The sitz bath was given 4 times a day and that gave relief to him. Gave him the gcsf injection. Night his favourite baingan bhartha was made.He was tired after the stretches and went to sleep early.

198) Tuesday 16^th June : Manas woke up early and got ready as well early. The Physio gave some real good stretches, while they were painful Manas is now able to regain some of his strength. Gave the last does of GCSF injection, his hands looked fine so his counts should have increased. His pain also has reduced and the 4 times a day sitz bath is helping. The last 7 months of his treatment some part or other of his body has undergone some suffering but he has borne it well. He had his favorite masala dosa for lunch. He did cycling as well. Being a foodie wanted to try new dish and Shalini made Gatthe ki subzi. He now has started helping with peeling vegetables and doing some side chores, to bring some variety to the monotony. Had a decent day and tomorrow is his follow up and hopefully the chemo should be done.

199) Wednesday 17^th June : Manas woke up early and got ready as well early. Had his medicines and left for hospital. We got his CBC Stat done. Dr Shobha checked his fissures and was happy it is healing. Manas counts were low it was .8 hence chemo postponed. Manas was bit low as he was confident it will be fine but his wbc must be fighting the infection. We came back home and also called the Physio to do the stretches. Day went as usual and he was asked to take 3 days GCSF and come on Saturday.

200) Thursday 18^th June:  Today is 200^th day, Manas woke as usual and had a normal routine day. His soya nuggets pulav was prepared and dosa for dinner. He had his gcsf. Later in night he had sweating and his temperate was hovering between 98.5 and 99. Spoke to Dr and she asked to give medicine and check after an hour. Manas himself did not feel any fever but temperature was 99. He slept early

201) Friday 19^th June: Manas had normal temperature but later had again increase. No headache or temperature. Dr Shoba said it is expected and could be due to Vitamin D deficiency as he has been at home only. Had gcsf injection and his normal stretches. Now his shoulder exercises are given. Another routine day

202) Saturday 20^th June: Manas woke early and we left for hospital. Mama & Mami came home. Manas counts were good and his chemo was given. His Vitamin D and calcium was low hence Shelcal and arise medicine prescribed. This is a short chemo that got done in 1 hour and we were back by 3 pm. Had lunch at home. Manas had some nauseauting which was expected. He had his stretches. Later in day was tired and went to sleep early.

203) Sunday 21^st June : Manas woke up early as today is Solar eclipse hence had breakfast by 10 am. Manas had bisse belle bath for lunch.  Evening did his stretches. Made corn-paneer cutlet for him.  A normal day.

204) Monday 22^nd June: Manas woke early and was ready. The physio came by 11.30 and he had good stretches. No major mdeicines except forcan and shelcal. A normal day

205) Tuesday 23^rd June: Manas had a normal day, his fissures have reduced substantially and no more pain. He could now walk with very little assistance thanks to the physio exercises.

206) Wednesday 24^th June: Manas got up early had his stretches. Today his gcsf injections was give, have to give for 3 days so that counts are fine. He slept in noon as wanted to see ManU match in night. Had dinner of kurma which Shalini had prepared. Saw the match and went to sleep late.

207) Thursday 25^th June : Morning Manas woke late as his stretches was planned in evening. Gave his GCSF injections and medicines. Evening manas did his stretches and later went to sleep. At around 7.30 pm his body was feeling warm and on checking tempreture it was 99. Shalini checked his BP and it was low at 90. Dr Shobha asked him to be brought to hospital. I spoke to her and she said the drug Doxorubocin can cause BP low and affect heart so she wants to do a echo and a doctor to see him. Manas started crying as he now hates going to hospital but we somehow convinced him. We left at 9.15 and reached by 10 pm. The Dr on duty examined him and felt his BP was fine, seems our machine shows incorrect. They could not do Echo as Covid clearance is required and at this odd hour not possible. So they asked me to get the medicines and gave him antibiotic. His vein was not found and later they used the port, this was a bit painful. Took blood for CBC, Renal, Liver and infection test. Couldn’t see him crying as he said he had enough and does not want to go through this. All got done by 2.30 am and we came home by 3.30. It had rained heavily and roads were flooded and so was Ranka Colony, luckily had taken Innova so could come in. Took him in wheelchair. Later he went to sleep by 4 am.

208) Friday 26^th June : Manas still had fever. Dr Shobha said his reports are fine and only hameglobin is low, they will give a blood transfusion like in Phase 2. Asked to give Dolo if it goes beyond 100 and also give Taxim O tablet. Gave Dolo to him and he felt better though it was weak. Had light lunch of rasam rice and again went to sleep. Evening he was much better and BP still showed 106 range but seems our machine is incorrect. Dr Shobha asked to come on Monday and give GCSF tomorrow as well. Gave him GCSF today. Later at night he had little vomiting but was later fine. Gave him Dolo and then he went to sleep. Dr Shobha said if the fever continues till Sunday she may admit him. Praying that the last leg of 3 weeks goes smoothly. 

209) Saturday 27^th June : Manas woke up late, he still had mild temperature 99 degree and gave him Dolo. Gave gcsf injection as well. The temperature was there couple of times hence had to give dolo thrice, this has been reduced from 4 times. He felt nauseauting and threw up twice. While his other reports came normal his hameglobin is low. Most of the day he took rest. Evening he watched his favourite Barcelona match and went to sleep around 11 pm. Gave him the weekly Vitamin-D tablet. 

210) Sunday 28^th June : Manas was much better did not give him Dolo, the Taxim O table helped in control. The BP still kept showing low so we asked Swati who is in her last year of MBBS to come and test the BP using manual BP machine. That showed normal and hence our machine seems to show a 10 count variation. Manas was feeling low as now he is tired of the hospital visits and was hoping that his chemo gets done. Dr Shobha said we will need to get a Covid test done and Echo as well. Skipped Physio as did not want to strain him. Slept early as next day is a long day.

211) Monday 29^th June: Manas woke early and got ready and we left by 9.30 am for hospital. There was traffic on road and we reached only by 10.30. Dr Shobha asked us to get the CBC, Cvoid test and Echo done and come to her. The Covid was the faster variant which you get report in 4 hours time. We got his CBC test done and later the Echo was done and then went for Covid test which was on another building. The Covid test took over 2 hours as it was a longer queue and bit disorganized. They said the report takes 8 hours hence spoke to Dr Shobha who said we can go home and come next day. Meanwhile we went and collected the CBC and Echo report. CBC was fine but the Echo showed some variations. Dr Shobha had told us that the drug Doxyrobocin is known to cause some heart side effects. We came home and Dr Shobha called and asked us to meet the Cardialogist next day and also get a blood test done. This was worrying and Manas lost his patience and started crying and feeling low. We tried to explain to him but he is the poor guy who is going through all this. The hospital visits, tests and pricks is taking a toll. Shalini also got worried but later she spoke to Dr Kannan, Dr Senthil and Dr Ramesh all our family friends who said this is expected not to worry. We explained to Manas. To cheer him up we made Maggie noodles which he has been craving for few months now. Manas was happy and later went to sleep as we had to repeat the process the next day as well. Told him Dalai Lama and why somethings are difficult in life.

212) Tuesday 30^th June: Morning Manas woke up and was feeling low. In the toilet he started crying and said he is now fed up. It was very painful and unbearable to see him break down. I also couldn’t control myself as have been keeping a stoic face for sometime. Seeing me cry he calmed down and said he will be brave. Later we had breakfast and again he was emotional and we all consoled him that things will be fine, have faith in god and doctors. We reached by 10.15 am, the Covid report was not ready. Dr Shobha asked us to meet Dr Shashiraj who is a paedetric cardiac specialist. We met him and he checked Manas and said looks fine but need a Pro BNP blood test to be done and come back with report. We did the blood test, which is another prick for Manas. We went to meet Dr Shobha who counselled Manas that he is doing exceptionally well. Many kids have high sugare, fits and other side effects that leads to a week of hospitalization and that too after the first dose whereas Manas has withstood 3 dosages which is remarkable. She said she may not do the last dose and hence said will give only Vincristine and will do a blood transfusion as well as his hameglobin is low and in past we had rushed for this. While Manas and Shalin went for the test I went and collected the blood report and showed to the cardiologist. He said report is fine and gave a medicine that needs to be taken for a  month and we come back again. He said this is expected and in couple of months they will stop this medicine. This was a big relief. Went and collected the Covid report which came negative as expected. Manas was very happy with this and the talk from Dr Shobha also helped him. Later his Vincristine chemo was given along with blood transfusion and we came home by 8.30 pm. Another long day but very fruitful as his chemo was done and we move to next step. Dr Shobha asked us to come on 14^th which is after 2 weeks and also get the PET Scan done. Now there are few milder chemo to be given and she increased the Cytrabin injections. Overall a good day.

Weekly Musings : Week 26 This Day 6 months Ago?

Weekly Musings : Week 26 This Day 6 months Ago?

week which is precisely on 30^th May, it will be six months since we were faced with this personal challenge. Over the last 6 months not just for us but world over people have been quarantined in their homes. Little did we realize how the journey would fare but thanks to the countless number of well wishers, we could reach this stage. We will be eternally grateful to many people and institutions. Every decade a time comes where world undergoes a radical change be it industrial, telecom, Internet etc a revolution had led to new world order. The Corona virus will lead to a new world order what that may be is difficult to predict but I am sure the focus will be towards humanity and compassion, towards nature and environment, towards caring and well being and towards needs rather than wants. Any bad brings about a new good and hope that new good is round the corner.

Weekly Musings : Week 25 How would Normal Day look like ?

Weekly Musings : Week 25 How would Normal Day look like ?

This week Manas had his strong chemo and still 5 more weeks to go. While entire world is in lockdown mode, the government had started opening up slowly and cautiously. Both of us were discussing that last 6 months has been confined to our home and were wondering how a normal day would look like. Manas is looking forward to going and playing in nets while he can eat in his favorite restaurant, I wanted to watch a good movie in a theater and maybe travel to some mountain. Things that were normal now seems to be a distant dream and the new normal is within the four walls of your home. While the countdown for his treatment is known we don’t know when there will be a cure for the Corona virus found and world will get back to the routine that we know.

Weekly Musings : Week 24 Stage 3 Starts

Weekly Musings : Week 24 Stage 3 Starts

This weeks starts his stage 3 of Chemo which is repeat of the first stage. This involves strong steroids and its accompanying side effects of mood swings, hair losses, weight gains etc. This time we are better prepared and aware. The chemo treatments are like learnings albeit a hard way where one has to go through it and experience and then understand and learn. In this journey one reaches to people who have had similar experiences, for us it is Mihir who is now 20 years old studying to be a doctor in Russia but had the exact same situation and other is Sudha whom we met in the chemo sessions who has a 2 year child and his chemo got over a few months back. An emotional support system gets created as we get ready to face stage 3 of treatment which will last for 4 weeks.

Weekly Musings : Week 23 Back to Routine

Weekly Musings : Week 23 Back to Routine

This was the first week where Manas did not have any chemo and most of his medicines are reduced. With no major medication and he gaining strength in his legs, the day has started becoming routine. Wake up in mornings and go about the daily schedules. We have been waiting for a routine day and it has started but ironically monotony leads to boredom. Manas is now missing outdoor but then entire world is at home. Manas decided to do some sketching and also started to pen his experience to bring in some variety. A week where routine seems to have set, something that we have been longing to see.

Weekly Musings : Week 22 Starting of Month 5

Weekly Musings : Week 22 Starting of Month 5

This week is the 150 day since Manas was operated and the 5^th month of his treatment begins. Didn’t realise the time, it is like trekking and one keeps walking not realizing how much distance one has covered. The destination is now visible and gives confidence that is just some more distance to cover and you will reach your peak. Things that just a few months back seemed so strenuous now feels normal. For Manas this is like a test match where one has to be patient, take one ball at a time and stay on crease. He has reached his 150 now and inching towards a double century.

Daily Diary for Month of May-2020

154) Friday 1^st May : Beginning of the 6^th month, Manas again vomited a bit in morning. He was doubtfult he may get discharge today. Dr Sunil came and said will check his levels and decide. Today he could pass motion and later he felt relieved. Afternoon continued to have curd rice only. The report came at 4 pm and was slightly on higher side and hence the discharge not planned for today. Manas was a bit low but was fine later. Had tomato soup in night and pulav. We played some uno and he watched his favourite Office series and played ludo with his friends. Today was technically a holiday so I also had a bit relaxed day, watch the movie Gumnami about Subhash Chandra Bose was an excellent watch.

155) Saturday 2^nd May: Manas woke up by 8.30 was feeling fresh, did his routine tasks. Dr Sunil came and said he looks fine and may initiate his discharge today. Manas had lunch of pasta as was bored of eating curd rice. His levels were fine and his discharge was initiated. With this chemo cycle Manas completes his 4 cycle of admission. The next chemo is the Day care chemo which will be for 4 weeks starting from 16^th May along with Echo report. We came home early by 8.30 pm, back to comfort of home and home food.

156) Sunday 3^rd May : Manas woke up late, now no more medicines other than Spectran alternate days and Pan for 3 days. Today is Kitna’s death anniversary as per tithi, didn’t realise how soon a year passed by. It seemed like yesterday when he was around, the frequent visits to hospitals have become familiar environments. Morning I did a small pooja as the actual shraddha can be done later once things settle down. Shalini had prepared his favourite items which I went and kept outside hoping that a crow will come and eat that. Manas had a good day as he enjoyed the feast. Am sure both Kitna and Mani are looking after us wherever they are. Miss them.

157) Monday 4^th May : Another routine day for Manas, did his stretches, played his games and started writing his book. Had his favourite masala dosa. Overall a normal routine day.

158) Tuesday 5^th May : Manas woke up leisurly, today no medicines at all. Evening did his stretches and he did 1000 rounds of cycling as well. Played chess with him and lost. Made my batata vada using the dosa pan.

159) Wednesday 6^th May: Another routine day but today Manas could not pass motion, gave him extra Dufalac. Only Septron medicine. Did stretches using a stronger band, he could do it though it was a bit painful later for him.

160) Thursday 7^th May: Today after 3 doses of Dufalac he could relieve himself. Evening did lighter stretches as he still had some pain. Played chess and again lost. A routine now setting in. Manas decided to sketch Virat Kohli and his pet dog Bruno that passed away, sketch came out nice.

161) Friday 8^th May : Slowly Manas is now coming back to his routine cycle of sleeping on time and waking up by 9 am. Now he is getting bored as it is becoming repetitive. He spent day the usual way and caught up with his friends. Yet to start writing on his book said not feeling like, looks like writers block. Another normal day.

162) Saturday 9^th May: Manas woke up a bit late but we played chess and kept busy. One more week and then his next cycle begins which will last for 4 weeks. Did more stretches today, his hip is yet to gain strength as while he can stand but when walking looses some of his balance. The orange teraband broke and hence using his blue stretch band.

163) Sunday 10^th May: Already 10 days of May month and time seems to fly in lock down. Today is mothers day, wished mami, Shalini and gauri. Morning decided to experiment with new breakfast and made a dosa of Bajra, besan, wheat and all vegetables, turned out well. Evening manas wanted to eat pasta and brownie, made that. Brownies used boost and it turned out ok. Manas could have a small piece only as the Boost was old opened pack. Did situps today and cycling as well to strengthen his muscles. Slept early.

164) Monday 11^th May : A routine schedule now. Shalini made vegan cheese and ice cream of banana both turned out good and Manas enjoyed it. Made him do the stretches and also sit ups.

165) Tuesday 12^th May: Today was pav bhaji day which Shalini prepared which he enjoyed a lot. Asked Dr Shobha when we should come and she asked to come on Friday instead of Saturday. Made pav for him.

166) Wednesday 13^th May: Today it is 1 year since Kitna passed away, we were discussing about how he would support me when I was Manas age. Morning Manas decided to walk on his own and slipped when coming from bathroom. Shouted at him as he needs to be careful as his hips are yet to gain full strength.

167) Thursday 14^th May: Tomorrow we have to visit Dr Shobha, she asked to come after having breakfast. We checked the schedule and 6 more weeks to go. Manas had gained weight

168) Friday 15^th May: Manas woke up by 7.45, we got ready and left by 8.40 and reached hospital by 9 am. The entry is very strict now, Dr Shobha came and saw him and happy with his progress. She wanted us to show his finger to Surgeon Dr Sanjay Rao , who now have all been shifted to make shift outside OPD. He saw the finger and said looks fine still got a swab test done, report will come after 48 hours. We did his CBC stat and Echo both of which were normal. His steroid phase starts with Dexa medicine. This will be like phase 1 where we he will feel very hungry and gain weight. Gave other 2 medicines as well which is Frocan and Rabicap which is to offset steroid effect. We came home by 2 pm. Next Friday his chemo injection will be given which will be for 4 weeks. After that 2 weeks more. Didn’t realise nearly six months near, it felt like first day when we had rushed to the hospital to show to Dr Thimmappa.

168) Saturday 16^th May: Today his Dexa phase starts. Manas woke up by 9.30 gave him Rabicap before breakfast and post that Dexa. Evening did good stretches. Made wheat pizza at home including tomato sauce. Manas did the bridges exercise on mat. He was feeling bit tired but later was fine.

169) Sunday 17^th May : Another day with steroids. Manas feels tired and drowsy hence end up sleeping in afternoons. Did light stretches. His favourite dosa and aloo paratha was made. Dexa causes some mood swings hence he was feeling a bit irritable but later was fine.

170) Monday 18^th May: Manas motion routine has changed and now it is not before noon he is able to relieve himself. Evening did extra one round of bridges exercises and his back was paining a bit, asked him to take rest as the Dexa is a strong steroid. Mami again had slight fever and she moved to Manni’s house. Everytime there is a shower / climate change she has fever. They had thought of going to Sunita’s house but decided not to as her area is in Red zone. Shalu made his favourite lauki kofta.

170) Tuesday 19^th May: The covid lockdown continues and now seems to be the new normal. It rained heavily and mami again had some fever. Not wanting to take risk, mama and mami went to Sunita house. Manas had another routine day and now getting more bored, need to find something else to keep interested. He started helping with housework and started with peeling pea pods, wants to help with kitchen work. Another day passed by.

171) Wednesday 20^th May: Today is our 19^th wedding anniversary. I could remember all the major events in our life since we met each other. Didn’t realise how quickly 19 years passed by. Shalu has been extremely supportive partner and soulmate and our world revolves around Manas. Today payasam was prepared and was like any routine day. Manas did little more stretches, spoke to Physio asking whether we need to buy the equipment, he wanted to see his progress before deciding. The first chemo will start on Friday and 5 more to go.

172) Thursday 21^st May : Another routine day, tomorrow his is chemo. Manas was feeling low as he now does not like the chemo process of prick and medicines. Told him it is matter of 6 more weeks and he would be done with this. Did stretches in evening and made pizza for him.

173) Friday 22^nd May: Morning Manas woke around 7.30 am and got ready by 9.30 to go to hospital. Today his chemo starts. We reached by 10.15, Dr Shobha saw him and was happy to see him walking. His CBC stat and blood sugar was tested and it was normal. His tissue swab report also came normal. His chemo was given which was of Lasparaganise which normally is a 4 days course but he was given one strong dosage and the other 2 was Vincristine and Doxorubicin. The chemo got done by 5 pm and Manas vomited which is the known side effect. The physio Kirubanidhi came and saw him and was happy with his progress, asked to buy a cross trainer and said he should be back to normal in 2 months time. Manas was very happy to hear this. Night he had severe headache and went to sleep without eating anything. He woke around 2 am and has little curd rice and gave him dexa medicine. This phase is like the first phase and will be a bit severe.

174) Saturday 23^rd May : Manas woke up by 10 am did not have headache but was feeling very tired.Gave me emset so that he does not feel nauseauting. After breakfast of sabidana khichidi gace him dolo and he felt better and went to sleep. Later in day he was feeling better though very tired and went to sleep. Evening had light roti sabji and then went to sleep. Did not do any stretches.

175) Sunday 24^th May:  Morning manas has slight headache and started crying as feeling very tired. This is another side effect of mood swings. After crying he felt better and then had breakfast and then went 

176) Monday 25^th May : Today was Manni’s death anniversary as per Hindu calendar, morning woke up early had bath and did the pooja. Made poori and sabji that Manni used to like. Manas was much better and no headache or vomiting though he was feeling tired. Evening did some stretches. The Dexa steroid does have strong effect on the body.

177) Tuesday 26^th May: Manas had a usual day but his BP show higher than normal. Asked Dr Shobha and she said it is becaue of the medicines hence asked to give 5 mg of Amlong and check his BP. Gave him the medicine and later checked the BP was still on higher side but Manas was his cheerful self. She said don’t worry. Skipped the stretches today as he was tired and went to sleep

178) Wednesday 27^th May: Manas was normal though BP continued to be on higher side. Evening did some stretches and also 5 situps and cycling. He was a bit irritable today as I accidently ended up stepping on his toes.  Shalini had made his favourite Bisse Bele Baath and he liked that. He went to sleep early.

179) Thursday 28^th May: Manas woke up late as was tired, he had breakfast and again went to sleep. He said he feels like not wanting to do anything. Dexa either leads to extreme hunger and energy or drains out, in his case it is the latter. Afternoon he wanted egg curry and he liked that. Tomorrow will be his 2^nd chemo out of the 4 and 5 more weeks to go.

180) Friday 29^th May : Morning Manas woke up by 8 am and we left for hospital by 9.30. He was worried whether it will be intense like last week. We checked his BP and it was on higher side, the nurse spoke to doctor and have him a capsule. We did his CBC stat and RBG and then went to 7^th floor to meet Dr Shobha. He did not want the port to be accessed as he thought his parameters may not be normal and he would end up with the port needle hence took the blood test via canola. His CBC stat was ok and hemoglobin had come down to 9, last week it was 12.50. His BP also came to normal and his chemo was started. Dr Shobha said this is expected and some get violent as well as the Dexa is a strong steroid. This chemo is a short one and got over in 1.50 hours. Manas was happy this did not turn out that intense. We came home and he was tired and took rest. Dr Shobha asked us to continue the stretches as the muscle will be weak in this phase. His counts may drop further in which case like last time he may be given blood transfusion. Evening he wanted his sambar and rice and made that. Went to sleep early.

181) Saturday 30^th May: Today will be exactly 6 months since Manas was operated and his treatment started. When we were told it will be a 6-7 month of chemo we were unsure how we will handle the journey but thankfully the power of good wishes of so many well wishers and friends helped us reach this stage. He is in his last chemo phase and has 5 more weeks to complete after which his maintenance phase of chemo starts. Counting every day as a blessing. Today manas wanted chole bhatura which Shalini made for him. I experimented with red pumpkin halwa using jaggery and it turned out good.

182) Sunday 31^st May : Manas coming back to normal though his mood swings come in spurts. He wasn’t feeling that hungry during lunch but later in evening ate something. Did some stretches but then got tired and went to sleep. Night made baked samosa which he liked. He was asking whether he is bearing it more and in comparison to my parents how is he faring. Told him that it is matter of 4 more weeks and this ordeal will get over, human body is known to endure based on conditions they are faced with and we don’t want him to suffer more. Later we played some Uno which was after nearly 2 weeks and then he went to sleep.